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…OK, Thank You. Thank You So Much October 25, 2007

Posted by Mitch in General.

I am sat composing this on the rusty and decomposing laptop that has sat on my desk since I got here. At first, the staff was unsure whether or not it could actually work and on further inspection deemed it deceased. However, when I got into school this morning, I thought that I’d give it a second chance. I’ve been here nearly 3 months and so why shouldn’t it work. Sometimes miracles happen. Why not in Kuga.

Needless to say, it works, as, if it didn’t, how would I be able to write to you? But enough about that; let’s move on…

This Saturday is the school’s Culture Festival. On Monday I got into school for a meeting and was told that I would be taking part in an audition. First of all, if you scroll back a little, you’ll read about how I was told that I would be singing. It turns out Julie lied, and before I was let loose on a Japanese stage, I needed to be vetted.

Cue an impromptu audition. After a cursory rehearsal with my backing singers (dubbed ‘The Mitches’ apparently. It turns out they don’t realise how funny that almost sounds…) we went into a rather capacious music room, with a row of stony faced teachers sat at one end. You might as well just have added Simon Cowell, it was that daunting. So we performed and, if I’m honest, it was pretty crap. However, I was sure we’d get it because of one deciding factor – me. Now I don’t mean, in this instance, that I’m just so darn good that they couldn’t help but say yes. I mean, I’m a foreigner. And, more specifically, I’m their foreigner. How could they say no?

It turns out that that was quite easy. An official programme of events was left on my desk this morning. Any sign of my name, emblazoned in a nice font across the front? No…

Any mention of Over the Rainbow, our signature tune? No…

Any slither of foreignness about it? Apart from the charming use of オープニング ダンス (opuningu dansu), no. No, no, no, no, no.

Excuse me if I have a hissy fit, but I was under the impression that this was a foregone conclusion. First of all I’m told that I’ll be singing, despite my attempts to thwart them with lies. Then I’m not even granted the luxury of choosing my own song, forced to endure an audition and after all that I don’t even get the gig? Travesty! I think it was a fix. I wonder who you have to sleep with here to get to sing…

Once I actually sit and think about it, I really don’t care that much, because now on Saturday I get to sit and watch the performances and cast judgement on all my pupils (and the teachers that were successful at the rigged auditions).

Other than that not much has been happening. The weekend that has just passed was spent shopping for my costume to my Chav party that will be taking place on the second weekend of November. I’m going as Gangsta Chav, as I feel I’ve moved on from the Council Estate Asbo Holder I was at the last Chav party I hosted.

Will sign off now as otherwise I fear I will waffle (more so than I’m wont to do normally).

Till next time!

UPDATE: Have just been told that we were in fact successful, thus nullifying the above blog entry. However, in the process of contradicting everything I’ve just said, I have shown just how little communication there is between my school and me. It was casually dropped into conversation that I would be expected to stay late today in order to rehearse. “Rehearse for what?” I enquired
“The performance, silly! God; mind like a sieve, or what?” answered Julie.
Unfortunately I am unable to attend due to a prior engagement. For someone who made such a fuss earlier on about not getting through, I’m now resolved to be the most apathetic performer there. Goodbye to my day of judging. Goodbye to any dignity I possessed in front of my students. Goodbye!



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